In mammals, the survival of the species is heavily influenced by parental behaviour, since it is the parents, and particularly the mother, who takes care of the newborn in the early months of exterogestation.
Oxytocin is the hormone that triggers maternal care at an emotional level, leading to the chain of maternal behaviours that makes both reproductive function and initial maternal care possible1.
But what does this maternal care depend on?
It is certainly linked to mammalian biology, but that is not all.
It also involves a behavioural choice associated with the culture the woman was brought up in and with her social, cultural and geographical context.
In recent years, in particular, the huge amount of media and scientific information regarding the benefits of breastfeeding has led to a culture in which breastfeeding is seen as the easiest and most obvious choice for all women2.
There is certainly no doubt about the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding in terms of general health for both mother and newborn: the mother's milk is specifically designed for newborns, promoting the development of the baby's gastrointestinal tract and providing practical assistance in encouraging the bond between mother and baby, among other things. From the mother's point of view, breastfeeding promotes rapid uterine involution, encourages initial contact between mother and baby, and reduces the risk of breast tumours and cardiovascular disorders. But times have changed, and women are not always able or do not always wish to breastfeed their baby.
Breastfeeding is just one of several ways to feed a newborn baby. However, choosing to feed their baby with anything other than breast milk (e.g. a combination of breast milk and formula, or just formula) exposes new mothers to controversy and judgement.
How can we encourage a culture that ensures new mothers are not caught in this trap and judged in this way?
First of all, we can recognise the uniqueness and the value of every mother and their baby, no matter what.
A common stereotype is that a "good mother" is a woman who embraces her baby immediately without any hesitation, has no doubts about breastfeeding and, for an extended period of time, is always happy and completely fulfilled by what she is experiencing. The "good mother" also lives in harmony with her partner, with both of them being full of enthusiasm for their newborn child.
And they are expected to all live happily ever after, like some kind of fairytale. My intention is not to be disrespectful or to trivialise such an important moment for mothers, but real life for women is often very different from this rose-tinted vision.