An interview with Regina Zsivkovits, Midwife & Managing Director of the HEBAMMENZENTRUM Midwife Center in Vienna (AT) about her experience of working with fathers, conducted by Johanna Tiroch, Medical Science Liaison Manager at MAM Babyartikel GmbH.
I am delighted to have the opportunity
to interview you, Regina Zsivkovits, about your project for new fathers at the
Vienna Midwife Center (AT).
Regina: Thank you very much for giving me the chance to tell you about our project for new fathers.
What is the idea behind the project for fathers?
Regina: The main idea behind the Midwife Center's project for fathers is that it takes account of the different needs of men and women, who ultimately both want the same thing - to find joy as they go through the processes of pregnancy, birth and bringing up a child.
That sounds very exciting. What is the aim of your project for fathers?
Regina: The aim of our project for fathers is to prepare men for the birth emotionally. Mainly for the fact that they won't remain calm and composed when the seemingly impossible happens and a healthy baby emerges from their partner's vagina. The project is also intended as a signal to pregnant women that we should take the father into account, too, and keep them informed. So we as midwives are here to support everyone who is present during the birth – something which has always been part of our work.
The Midwife Center is deliberately addressing men more and more. Is that because you want to be supportive as the gender roles for men and women are changing?
Regina: Yes, you're right about that, gender roles in society are changing all the time at the moment, and that's affecting new fathers, too. They want to express their caring side, just like mothers do, they want to show their emotions and be moved.
Do men's needs within the partnership change in some way with the birth of their own child?
Regina: Yes, the birth of a child brings out even more strongly their need to play an active role, to share responsibility for this new life, their child, and to support their partner.
What do you see as the role of you midwives in this? How does your project help fathers-to-be?
Regina: We make it our job to ensure that the men who take part in our project really understand how deeply they will be affected, as they never have been before. Not least, this emotional awareness will make it easier for them to understand their feelings for their child.
That sounds like a job that calls for a lot of empathy. Continuing to think about the emotional side, a birth is, quite apart from what’s happening physiologically, a highly emotional event for all concerned. Can you tell us what kind of emotions fathers usually experience?
Regina: Yes, it's very emotional and a great achievement for the woman. The emotions include being reduced to tears of wonder at their child, and sheer joy that they are alive. But, mixed in with the joyful emotions, there are also fears.
Why should there be any fears? And how do midwives address them?
Regina: The fears arise from being so affected by it all, and also from men's overwhelming feeling of helplessness and uncertainty about how to deal with their partner's pain and the powerful experience of the birth. If it were their own bodies, men would be able to do something about it.
Are you able to relieve these anxieties for parents in advance?
Regina: Yes, we try to explain it all and address their fears, because otherwise they remain there in the background, unspoken. That's one of the reasons for our project for fathers.
Yes, staying with the fathers, what motivates fathers to attend your talk on "Becoming a Father"?
Regina: There are many different reasons. Some fathers want to be well prepared for the birth and the changes in the woman, while others are encouraged to come by their partner. But in one respect they are almost all the same: at the start of the session they are very tense, but after a few minutes, during which the midwife giving the talk has to prove her technical expertise and demonstrate how calm she will remain, the atmosphere starts to ease.
And what happens next?
Regina: The fathers-to-be listen willingly, because they often need support and are looking for it. Becoming a father affects every part of their being and helps them to grow as people. They also need to accept responsibility, not only during the birth but in day-to-day life with their newborn. Fathers want to take on this role and build a relationship with their child.
What are fathers particularly concerned about?
Regina: All kinds of things including:
Those are very wide-ranging topics. Are there also subjects that they don't ask about but you midwives address anyway?
Regina: Yes, there are, mainly concerning sex during pregnancy and after the birth, because there's often uncertainty about that. Also about watching the birth, worries about seeing blood. And the question of whether they really want to be there. And then how can fathers best cope with the challenges of day-to-day life with a baby?
That all sounds great. Your project for fathers covers a wide range of topics that affect a couple's relationship during the pregnancy and birth, and the transition into their new roles as parents. Have you already seen the impact of your project?
Regina: It has all kinds of effects, especially on the relationship and their mutual understanding. Women often tell us that their partner is completely different after it.
What is the most important thing for you about the Midwife Center's project for fathers?
Regina: That the birth of a child becomes a joint concern, something that affects both the pregnant woman AND the father-to-be. Midwives' efforts to help mothers and children, and fathers and children, to come closer to one another are also a reflection of the changes that need to come about in society. We are always there to offer advice and support.
What else would you like to tell us in conclusion?
Regina: Here at the Midwife Center, we strive for equality between men and women. We hope that our project for fathers makes a big contribution towards that.
1 Berhard Gitschtaler, Papa werden! (Becoming a dad!)
2 Steinhardt, Datler, Gstach (Pub.), Die Bedeutung des Vaters in der frühen Kindheit (The role of the father in early childhood)
3 Egon Garstick, Junge Väter in seelischen Krisen (Young fathers in mental crises)
4 Information for parents no. 20, Väter (Fathers), Elwin Staude Verlag